Wrong Turns

I have this habit (bad?) of needing to know what the "plan" is for just about everything.  For events, I need to know what time it starts, what time we are leaving, where it is, what I need to bring, and if there is anyone I know there.  Traveling somewhere, I am the person that memorizes the directions before we leave so I know what turn to take next.  I have a plan for life, a plan for my career, and a plan for family.  I realize that plans are not set in stone; circumstances change and plans have to change in response.  I can handle changing plans, because a changed plan is still a plan.  What I cannot handle is wandering around with no direction.  You can imagine how stressful it is for me when I get lost.

The last time I was truly lost was in college.  It was my first day of classes at Cal Poly and I had mapped out my schedule perfectly.  I did not plan to make friends and go with them to lunch.  I ended up eating lunch with my classmates and then having no idea how to get to my next class, let alone back to my dorm room.  After a few minutes of mild freak-out, I looked at the map (this was before smartphones) in my backpack and got myself located.  Even being pseudo-lost for a few minutes made enough of an impact that I remember it.  

I have nightmares of going SCUBA diving and getting separated from the group and being lost in the ocean as my air runs out.  Or not being able to find my car in the mall and my phone being dead so I cannot call for help.  The idea of being lost is a huge source of anxiety to me, but I haven't been lost for over 10 years.  Yes, I am a little bit of a control freak (see first paragraph about plans).

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  1. Pingback: Poem / Poetry – “Dreaming Of Darkness Retreating” | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)

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