Tag Archives: work

Stay at Home Mom – Week 5

Now that I have been a SAHM for a whole month now, I wanted to write about my feelings about it. I have R home with me every day, and L still goes to a full day of preschool/daycare 5 days a week. I had both kids home with me last Friday and I was at the end of my rope by 2 pm. I think that it will get better when L is more used to being at home with R and I. He was just very demanding of my attention that whole day, which made it very difficult to take care of R and give her attention too.

Overall, I am enjoying the time that I have at home. I am able to pursue my dream of having a career where I am able to use my creative side, but I am also able to work flexible hours that I dictate. The day-to-day stuff is pretty tedious, but each sale or custom item request I get through my shop makes each day a little different. I am still trying to find the balance between cleaning, working on my shop, playing with the kids, and cooking that works best for our family. I have been spending more time playing than cleaning, but I doubt I will ever regret that! I am glad that I made my shop, it give me something that is mine. Something that is not about being a mom or wife.

Both kids like having me home, that is clear. R is eating good, gaining weight, and has hit a bunch of milestones this past month. L likes having me take him to school and daycare, especially because when I drop him off or pick him up I am not rushing around. I can take the time and have him show me what he did at school that day, I can give him the extra snuggles he asks for (demands) when he is having a rough morning. Our weekends have also become more fun, because now we are not spending the whole time running errands and cleaning house; we can do fun things on the weekend now!

I don’t know how long I will really be able to stay at home. Financially, it is still a big challenge (especially since we just got another hospital bill from R’s birth), but personally I am finding it very fulfilling. I am noticing the lack of adult interaction, but I am hoping to find a group of moms/dads that I can join. If not, I can always start my own group.

Wow, that is quite a rambling stream of consciousness. Oh well, that is what I came to write today, so that is what you get. Proofreading is for suckers. LOL

Stay at Home Mom – Week 1

I have been absent from blogging recently due to some major changes in my life. I recently quit my job and decided to be a stay at home mom for a little bit. Many reasons contributed to my quitting: R not taking a bottle and being up all night, lack of support at work, and feeling like my kids need me more than my job values me are among a few of them.

For the next few months, I will be a SAHM (stay at home mom). I know that there will be an adjustment period for me and the kids, but after that, I hope to be able to decide whether I want to go back to work full-time, part-time, or at all. Right now, I am enjoying being at home with R (L is still going to preschool/daycare for the moment). I am not getting much done around the house, nor have I had much time for blogging, but I feel like R is sleeping better and in a better mood in general with me at home. I know that I am in a better mood too.

To help offset the mental stagnation of being a SAHM, and to hopefully provide some supplemental income, I have started an ETSY shop. I only have a few items listed, but the 2 sales that I have gotten so far have made me giddy with happiness. I would love to be able to make this a part-time gig for me, allowing me to stay home with the kiddos and work on my own schedule. I guess we will see if my designs are popular enough to support that.  Feel free to click the image to the left and check out my shop.  Any constructive feedback on current or future items would be welcome!

Work, work, work

Now that I am back to work full-time, after a short bout of pneumonia, I am having a hard time figuring out what my goals are.  I love my children and want to be there for them, especially since schools/daycare/activities in my town seem to always end at 5pm.  Being there for them is really difficult with my current hours and commute.  On the other hand, I am enjoying working on my projects, having adult interaction, and bringing home a paycheck.  I guess this is the dilema of every mom out there; what is the balance between what is best for me and what is best for my family.

Back to Work Again

I don't even know what to say about being back to work. I am both happy and sad about it. Happy that I am getting things done, getting a paycheck, and having adult interaction. Sad that I am missing R, not getting things done at home, and disconnected from the happenings in the office. I have to assume that every working mom feels similarly to some degree.

The biggest challenge to going back to work is R not taking a bottle. She refused every time we tried the month before going back to work, and now she is refusing at daycare. This means that she is not eating all day long; she is just waiting for me to get home. It is stressing me out. She is already quite stubborn and opinionated in her own quiet way (L is stubborn and opinionated in a much more vocal way).

So, today J is taking R to the pediatrician to get her weight checked. Since she is not eating all day, we need to make sure she is gaining weight at a proper rate still. I do not think I would be as worried if she was reverse cycling and eating more at night, but she is still sleeping good at night. I can't believe that she would be getting all of her needed calories from just eating in the evenings and morning. Well, I guess we will see what the doctor says.

Fingers crossed that she will take a bottle soon. Silver lining: I can freeze all the milk I am pumping during the day (a whopping 7 oz total per day) to use in the future.

I will not write about that

There isn't much that I feel uncomfortable writing about, so when asked what one topic I will never write about is, I have a hard time coming up with something.  After much thought and many discarded ideas (my marriage, poop, family, food, etc), I finally realized the one thing I will never blog about.  My job.  There are a few reasons that I will not write about my job:

  • The nature of my job (research) means that I am working on things that competitors would like to steal the idea for.
  • If I ever express dissatisfaction with my job, there is a possibility that a coworker may read it and spread it around, thereby putting my continued employment in danger.
  • I have no desire to write about my work; I write to relax and not think about work.

I think that those are three very valid reasons to not write about my job, no matter how I feel about it. Maybe if I ever have my own business or become a domestic engineer (aka stay at home mom) I will feel more free to discuss my work and satisfaction with it.  Ironically, the point is moot currently as I am still on maternity leave.  In conclusion, since I will not write about work, you get to read about the other things in my life . . . mostly the kid.  Sorry not sorry.

fetus2

23.4 weeks

IMG_20140106_1914123 more weeks has passed since my last update and we all made it through the holiday season without major injuries or homocide.  (It was quite a challenge)  I am rapidly approaching the third trimester and it is scary.  I am so not ready for this baby to be here yet; I remember thinking the same thing with L too.  I wanted to have L's big boy room completed by Feb 1st so we can get him used to it.  Nothing much has been done on that front.  And until we have him in his new room, we can't get the nursery girl-ified.  So yeah, I feel like I have an overwhelming list of things that need to get done.  Most days I wish I could just stay home and get all the stuff that I need to do as a wife and especially mother done, but I also have a full time job.  There are just not enough hours in the day for me right now.

On top of all that, my depression has started to kick back in.  I was doing good for the past months, but I can feel it getting worse slowly.  I think I am going to have to go back on meds sooner than I would like.

On a happier note, our little girl is kicking up a storm on my bladder every evening and night.  It is so cool to feel her moving around inside me (a little freaky at times too) and it is a great reminder of why I am powering through the bad days.  There is a light at the end of this pergnancy tunnel.  Hopefully a good eating, good sleeping, colic free light. :)  I am still craving cheezeburgers and other fatty, protien rich foods.  I could eat swedish meatballs for every meal and not be sick of it for months.  Mmmmm…. Great, now I am hungry again.

12.0 weeks

Well, supposedly today is the turning point for all those first trimester woes.  From this point onward I am supposed to be less nauseated, have more energy, and be in the "pretty" pregnancy stage.  I am highly skeptical.

We made the official Facebook announcement to the world of our friends, family, and acquaintances.  We decided that since the timing was pretty close, we would make the bigIMG_3095announcement on our wedding anniversary.  It just worked out.  We decided to go simple and just post a picture of L wearing a Big Brother shirt.  I know it is overused and cliche, but there are limited things that you can get a 2 year old to do when they are in the "NO" stage.  We were lucky to even get him in the shirt!

It is a relief to have the news public, and most people seem excited for us.  One big exception is L himself.  We told him that night about the baby growing in Mommy's tummy and started to talk to him about being a big brother.  We asked him if he wanted a baby brother or sister to play with like is cousin G has.  His response was a characteristic first child response of "Ummmm Nope!"  Honestly, I can't blame him; I felt the same way about my younger brother for the first 15 years of his life (he got better as we got older).

So, other than more preggo and baby talk the only thing going on in my life is work and prepping for a friend's baby shower this weekend.  They read this blog so I can't tell you any of the super-secret details, though.  Work is also super-secret so there is not much I can say.  Price of working in R&D in a very competitive area, I guess.  Suffice to say, I am working on a big project and having to take more responsibility that I have previously had to.  Other departments are not enthusiastic about this, so there is a lot of push-back that I am learning how to deal with.  Previously, I just got my work done with minimal interaction with other people.  Today I had people calling me on my cell, office phone, and coming to talk to me, all at the same time.  It is exhausting and fulfilling to be consulted for information and answers about this project.  For once I feel like I am taking ownership of a project!  Hopefully this ends up being a great success and not one of the many failures that happen when working in research.

My job is a vampire, sent to draaaaaain

Second day, second prompt: What daily tasks take up most of your energy?

When I divide my day up, I spend the majority of my time at work.  Next comes sleeping, commuting  spending time with L, doing chores, spending time with J, and finally other projects (such as blogging and making beer).  Out of all of those tasks, working and commuting take most of my energy.

I say that they take my energy, but in reality they suck the energy out of me like a thing that sucks energy vampire.  Driving an hour each way to work is something I knew I would have to do, based on where I live, so that is just frustrating and tiring.  The real energy drain is going to a job where I feel unappreciated.  From what I hear, everyone feels like that, though.  Now, I could bitch and moan about how much I hate my job, but in reality I chose to work there and I am choosing to stay there for now.  At this point in my life, having a job where I have a little bit of security and experience is a good thing.

I hope someday to find a job that energizes me; a job that I look forward to going back to.  Until then, I will keep slogging away at this job and find other things to energize me.  Maybe I will cut back on my sleep time to spend more time with L and work of more projects.  Definitely not going to put more time towards chores.  Those can always wait until company is coming over or I am out of underwear. :)